Wanted: Just a Tipple

Pretty please?

It’s safe to say if you drink canned wine, the Universe rewards you with a ripping hangover after half a glass. 

I did the field research. 

It’s also safe to say if you drink bottled wine, the Universe rewards you with a ripping hangover after half a glass. 

I did some field research here too.

Factor in ascending age, descending muscle mass, and a movement disorder that affects coordination and balance, and it looks like the Universe does have my back.

Tough love.

Either that or she secretly hates me. 

I fear I’m turning into the human equivalent of beige.

Up at 5.30 a.m. In bed by 9 p.m. 

Hydrated, decaffeinated, green leafy veg out the wazoo.

Now I can’t even have a drink? 

Not even a tipple?

An Aperol Spritz, perhaps?

No ma’am.

My field research says that gin is okay.

It’s also safe to say that my field research is biased and therefore bogus.

Last orders were called in my late 20s, I’m told.

Make do with sparkling water, I’m told.

More water.

Great. 

Universe = 1; Annmarie = 0